


Science Bros and Company

by baconnegg



Series: Science Bros Texting [2]
Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - All Fandoms
Genre: Drabble, Friendship, M/M, Science Bros, Texting, texts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-03
Updated: 2012-06-03
Packaged: 2017-11-06 17:16:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/421355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baconnegg/pseuds/baconnegg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony and Bruce have unlimited texting for a reason, and so do Steve and Clint.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Science Bros and Company

Hey handsome, what are you up to today?  
\- TS

Filing paperwork, hopefully running some experiments later.  
\- BB

Dammit. Sorry Bruce, that was meant for Steve.  
\- TS

Hey, I’ll take compliments where I can get them.  
\- BB

No. No. Do not do that. You are not allowed.  
\- TS

Do what?  
\- BB

The “I’m so unattractive, no one would actually want me” low self-esteem BS.  
You are a handsome motherfucker, and you know it.  
\- TS

If you say so.  
\- BB

I do say so.  
And so does Clint. Last time we went out for drinks he went on and on about how fine you are.  
\- TS

...Really?  
\- BB

Yup. He really likes your hair, apparently.  
Your ass is a close second.  
\- TS

Maybe I could come with you guys next time.  
\- BB

We keep asking you for a reason!  
\- TS

\- - -

Hey, you’ll never guess who’s in the tabloids this week.  
\- BB

What did Tony do or not do this time?  
\- CB

Not Tony, it’s me, actually.  
Someone got a photo of us when we went out for dinner.  
Now they’re being crude about me “chasing after younger men.”  
\- BB

Oh my god, that’s so ridiculous.  
\- CB

Yeah. What century is this?  
Age doesn’t matter, as long as we care about each other.  
\- BB

Um, I agree with you and all but  
We’re the same age.  
\- CB

We are?!  
\- BB

Yeah! How could you not know?  
Some genius ;)  
\- CB

Hey, it’s your fault!  
It’s your body that forgot to age past 28.  
\- BB

\- - -

Hey Steve, that was some risky stuff you did yesterday.  
I know you’re a supersoldier, and I really shouldn’t be talking, but jeez.  
\- TS

Hey, yolo, right?  
\- SR

…  
I don’t know what Clint has been teaching you, but tell him to stop.  
\- TS

\- - -

Hey, thanks for showing me how to use the camera on my phone.  
I think you’ll like the thank-you gift I’m sending you.  
\- SR

Pfft. A thank-you gift? C’mon Cap, it really wasn’t a big deal.  
\- CB

No, wait.  
I walked into the lab this morning, Tony and Bruce had just finally finished that experiment they’ve been working on for two months.  
And they were hugging each other and jumping up and down at the same time.  
\- SR

And you got that on video?  
\- CB

Yes, all of it.  
\- SR

That is spectacular.  
Hey, have you learned about Youtube yet?  
\- CB

\- - -

Are you still mad about the viral video thing?  
\- CB

Actually, when I’m mad I tend to turn into the angry green giant.  
And considering that, well, it’s not like I have to worry about my dignity as a professional being damaged any further.  
\- BB

Aw, don’t be like that. I said I was sorry.  
Come on.  
Bruce Banner~  
I’ve just met a man named Bruce Banner~  
\- CB

Clint, that’s not going to work this time.  
\- BB

And suddenly that name, will never be the same to me~  
Bruce Banner!~  
I’ve just kissed a man named Bruce Banner!~  
And suddenly I’ve found, how wonderful a sound can be!~  
\- CB

I’ll forgive you if you come down to my lab and serenade me.  
\- BB

Really?  
-CB

Yes, get down here.  
\- BB

_*Seconds later*_

Hey Steve, remember when you said you’d do anything for me to make up for the Youtube thing?  
\- BB

Yeah?  
And so very sorry, again.  
\- SR

Calling in that favor. Come down to my lab with your phone in exactly two minutes, just open the door a crack. I’ll text you further instructions momentarily.  
\- BB

\- - -

Do you know where Tony is?  
\- SR

Possibly, why?  
\- BB

He gave me some candy to try before taking off.  
It looked like grains of colored sugar, but I tasted some and it started fizzing and making noises!  
I don’t know what chemical or machine he put in it, but I’m really going to let him have it as soon as I find him!  
\- SR

Okay, him pranking you like that was very mean.  
But those are called pop rocks, they’re supposed to do that.  
\- BB

Really?  
That clinches it, millennium candy is horrible. Tastes awful, overpackaged, explodes.  
\- SR

Tony’s in meetings all day, so you’ll have to wait to scold him.  
For now, there’s an old-fashioned candy shop in the city. Ask JARVIS for directions.  
\- BB

Aw, thank you Bruce.  
\- SR

Take Clint with you. He’s bored and keeps touching stuff in my lab.  
\- BB

\- - -

Have you seen Clint?  
-BB

He's out being a BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY  
\- TS

Oh, you're out drinking again.  
I'll get Steve  
-BB

\- - -

Hey, Bruce, you know Tony best.  
\- SR

I do?  
\- BB

What should I get him for his birthday?  
He has EVERYTHING, literally.  
\- SR

Take him out to dinner?  
\- BB

Check. But we do that all the time.  
\- SR

Draw him something?  
\- BB

Also check.  
But it’s his first birthday that we’re together for, I want to get him something he’ll really like.  
\- SR

In that case, get him shoulder massage tickets.  
\- BB

Huh?  
\- SR

Google them.  
\- BB

Oh, okay.  
Do you really think he’d like that?...  
\- SR

He spends his entire day hunched over desks or machinery.  
Trust me, he’ll like them.  
\- BB

_*Next day*_

Send a message to SHIELD informing them that Steve’s powers include giving the best goddamn shoulder rubs EVER.  
You should get him to give you one.  
I wouldn’t get even a tiny bit jealous, they’re that good. Go ahead.  
\- TS

Thanks for the offer, but Clint’s are more than adequate.  
\- BB

If you say so, all the more for me then!  
\- TS

\- - -

I think I have one of those computer infection things.  
\- SR

Why? What’s happening?  
\- TS

I know I’m typing in the right address for that search engine you showed me.  
But nearly every time I go, the logo is different!  
How is it sending me to a different site every time?  
\- SR

Oh, I see what’s happening.  
Okay, go to the search engine, ignore the logo.  
Type in “google doodle” and click the first result that comes up.  
\- TS

Okay.  
These are amazing!  
This little game one, Pac-Man, I can’t stop playing it!  
\- SR

Have fun Steve, remember to blink occasionally.  
\- TS

\- - -

Man, your cock really does taste amazing.  
\- SR

Did you accidentally make out with Bruce, or is he just giving really vivid details?  
\- CB

ARGH. I meant cooking!!  
Tony put this automobile thing on my phone and I don’t know how to fuck it!  
Flick it!!  
FIX. IT.  
Oh god, please help me!  
\- SR

You have to admit it’s pretty funny.  
\- CB

No it’s not!  
Coulson texted me over an hour ago, but I’m afraid to text him back in case it changes it to something really intracrural.  
INAPPROPRIATE. See what I mean?  
\- SR

Okay, okay, first bring me your phone and I’ll fix it.  
Then go get me a few pies, 40 feet of twine, and a sheet of plywood.  
\- CB

Um, alright. But what’s that stuff for?  
\- SR

It’s for the only thing that will end the prank war Tony has waged upon you.  
Prepare to unleash hell.  
\- CB

_*Later*_

I’m covered in pie and I totally fucking hate you.  
\- TS

Go apologize nicely to Cap for dicking around with him and he might lick it off ;D.  
\- CB

Good idea.  
I still hate you though.  
\- TS

Awww, Starky-baby you say the sweetest things.  
\- CB

Fuck you.  
\- TS

Sorry, but I’m taken ;).  
-CB

\- - -

You awake?  
\- CB

Yeah, Cap and Tony going at it wake you up too?  
\- BB

Of course. Why else would I be in the living room when the best thing that’s ever happened to me is sleeping alone?  
\- CB

Oh, Clint.  
It’s way too late at night to be that sappy.  
\- BB

You love it.  
Now come here so we can put those two to shame.  
\- CB

\- - -

Hey Tony, what are you up to?  
\- SR

That’s the third time you’ve asked me that in two hours.  
What are you avoiding?  
\- TS

Well, it’s just  
As Captain, I have to check up on the team and make sure they follow orders and do what they’re supposed to.  
And Natasha missed her physical and I’m supposed to go talk to her and well...  
\- SR

You’re still a little afraid of her?  
\- TS

Not afraid! She’s just sort of...intimidating.  
\- SR

Believe me, I understand.  
Do you want me to get Bruce to go with you?  
\- TS

Yes, please.  
\- SR

\- - -

How was your spontaneous lunch with Thor?  
\- SR

It was very...interesting.  
\- TS

Oh no, did he get upset and try to “free” the lobster again?  
\- SR

No, I made sure we went to a cafe for just that reason.  
I think he gave me a pep talk.  
\- TS

That sounds like good team bonding, actually.  
About what?  
\- SR

Well, he kept mentioning this documentary he’d watched about Sparta.  
And how it was a “VERY GOOD IDEA FOR MIGHTY WARRIORS TO BOND IN SUCH A FASHION,” so that we might become “STRONGER FROM BEING IN VIEW OF OUR HEART’S DESIRE.”  
\- TS

Um.  
Oh wow.  
\- SR

Wait, it gets better.  
He went on to tell me to “ALWAYS TREAT THE GOOD CAPTAIN WELL” and “DEMONSTRATE YOUR EMOTIONS, FOR IT IS NOT LACKING IN MANHOOD TO DO SO.”  
Then he started talking about “elastics” and “M&M’s” and asking certain questions.  
Yeah, you’re better off not knowing how the rest of that conversation went.  
\- TS

You were right, that does sound very...interesting.  
\- SR

For sure.  
Steve, are we good together?  
\- TS

Huh?  
Yes, why?  
\- SR

Well, if a Norse god is giving me a relationship advice, I’m wondering if there’s something wrong that I’m not seeing.  
\- TS

Tony, if something was really wrong, I’d tell you. Thor was just being his usual encouraging self.  
We have our issues, but we get through them.  
And I love you.  
\- SR

I love you, too.  
I’ll say it out loud soon, this whole “feelings” thing is just a bit new to me.  
\- TS

No rush <3.  
(That’s supposed to be a heart, Clint told me).  
\- SR

Oh my god, has it really taken you two this long?  
\- BB

Bruce?! What the hell are you doing here?  
\- TS

You really need to teach Steve to be careful with that “add contacts” button.  
But seriously, about time you used your adult words.  
I was worried you were going to turn Cap into your Little Red-Haired Girl.  
\- BB

I don’t get that reference.  
\- SR

Bruce, this is the only time I will ever say this to you  
GO AWAY  
\- TS

Okay, I’ll leave you two to your love-in.  
\- BB

Sorry, Tony.  
\- SR

It’s not your fault, I need to be a better tech teacher.  
And hey, could have been worse. You could have added Coulson or something.  
\- TS

Well, now that you mention it.  
\- PC

OH COME ON  
\- TS

**_FIN (for now)_ **

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, thank you all VERY MUCH for the sudden flood of love and ideas and whatnot that came with the first "Science Bros Texting" fic. You're lovely, so here's another one!
> 
> The "BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY" text was written by sarimia, who is very awesome.
> 
> Yes, Clint is singing a slightly-altered version of "Maria" from 'West Side Story,' because the world needed that.
> 
> Despite Tony's misunderstanding, Thor was actually talking about "erastes" and "eromenos," as well as a certain Spartan warrior philosophy. If you want to know what those are, feel free to look at the (NSFW) Wikipedia pages on the subject.
> 
> Also, everyone's good grammar during texting is all my fault.


End file.
